When we first entered lockdown there were aspects to it that weren't half bad. In all honesty, I quite enjoyed that there was no pressure to get up at 4am to run, that I could stay in my pyjamas until midday (or longer) and that the kids and I got to play board games all day. I loved the fact that my husband was around more and that he utilised his expert cooking skills to whip up a gourmet meal every evening. Three weeks down the line and I'm completely over it. I might well have been the grumpiest person in the history of the world the past three days. My husband and children tip-toe around me, too scared to do or say anything in case I bite their heads off (this does have a small pay-off: they've never volunteered to help me with cleaning quite as much). I'm like an giant, overweight, grumpy....actually, apart from not being green, I'm pretty much Shrek at the beginning of the original movie. Happy, magical fairy folk beware!
In order to survive, or more accurately, in order for my family to survive the remainder of lockdown, I have put together a list of tips that I have found useful and that I can refer back to them when I am feeling particularly homicidal. Some of them are from my own meager experience; the really good ones I've borrowed from people who must have been either stuck in a war zone or spent years in solitary confinement.
Lockdown tip #1
If you wear the same jeans for more than five days they get baggy enough to make you feel like you've lost weight.
Lockdown tip #2
Exercising makes you feel better, even if it's just for 15 minutes. Trust me on this: even when you really don't feel like exercising, you will feel better afterwards. You don't have to run loops around your garden for six hours. Find something fun, like an old 80's aerobics workout. You could even dress up in headband and leg warmers. Make Jane Fonda proud.
Lockdown tip #3
Your children can wear THE SAME CLOTHES for a week and they will be no worse off for it. In fact, they may even like you more.
Lockdown tip #4
Ditch screen time limits. It's unlikely that a few weeks of extra screen time is going to ruin your child's chances of going to Harvard one day. Other things might, but not 5 weeks of a bit of extra screen time.
Locktime tip #5
You do not have to be a perfect teacher for your child (even if you are a teacher). It's also okay if you don't get all the work done. Just get what you can done. It's not worth ruining your relationship with your child (or killing them) over some work that they will likely catch up in a few weeks anyway once they are back at school.
Lockdown tip #6
Before you freak out about something, ask yourself whether it's going to matter in a year's time. This tip may well have saved my marriage more than a few times over the past three weeks.
Lockdown tip #7
It probably felt great for the first week to wear your pyjamas until midday. I've realised that now it just makes me feel yuk. It's worth getting up, showering and probably brushing your hair and teeth too. You'll feel better. I promise. And your partner will also probably like you better.
Lockdown tip #8
If you run out of alcohol, do not reach for the hand sanitizer. You may need it in the coming months.*
Lockdown tip #9
Do something for someone else. Yes, I know this sounds dangerously altruistic, but I have been know to have a Pollyanna complex. Seriously though, doing something small for someone else almost always makes you feel better (and often them too).
Lockdown tip #10
Find a good series to watch. This is even better if you find ones that the whole family can enjoy. We are loving 'The Office' at the moment.
Lockdown tip #11
Turn your phone off for a while (except of course to read my very helpful blogs). Too much time on your phone can be dangerous for many reasons. Obsessively reading COVID horror stories and watching COVID stats can lead to unnecessary anxiety and depression and can become bizarrely addictive. Too much social media can make you think your life is shite, because from their posts (happy children crafting or sexy parents gyming), everyone else is winning at lockdown.
Lockdown tip #12
Lose the scale. Chances are you're going to put on some weight during lockdown and it's going to stress you out when you don't need extra stress. Hide your scale away, take the batteries out or do whatever else it takes for you not to weigh yourself. Instead, be grateful that you have enough food. You'll lose the weight after this is over (or once we have no food left, in which case you'll have a head start on surviving if you're carrying some extra fat stores).
Lockdown tip #13
Hide any dangerous objects.
Lockdown tip #14
Make sure you do not run out of Wifi.
Lockdown tip #15
Don't do the egg challenge. Do you really want to end up in hospital with Salmonella now?
Lockdown tip #16
You can go to the shops in your pyjamas as long as you wear sunglasses and a mask. No one will recognise you.
Lockdown tip #17
If you have tiled floors, do not get down on your hands and knees to scrub them because you may notice that the grouting between the tiles is darker than it should be, and once you see that, you cannot unsee it. And then you will end up spending the entire day scrubbing the grime off your tile grouting.
Lockdown tip #18
No one ever died from a diet of chocolate and home baked biscuits. Okay, maybe they did, but it's unlikely to kill you in five weeks so stop stressing about it. You can get back on track once life is back to normal.
I shall continue to add to this list as I find more gems. Feel free to contribute your lockdown tips. God knows I could do with as many as possible!
*On a serious note, if it's really bad, make an appointment to chat to your doctor.
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